I am an athlete (sort of) so track me!

Note: Like a responsible slow runner, I start at the back of the pack. Then somewhere around the half mark I mercilessly pass other slow runners who thought they were super fast and took off at the start line like race horses at the Kentucky Derby. Yeah, you know who you are. And you’ll know who I am by the stead thud, thud, thud accompanied by very loud mouth breathing and rocking totally wicked dance moves to the Nevada Wolf Pack rap.

I am a bit of a techno nerd and I kind of dig the whole social network scene (though have yet to fully utilize it to rocket my little blog into super stardom because you know everyone wants to hear about my blisters and eye crispies).

But anyway, one of the nifty updates from the Half Moon Bay running events this weekend is that they will have social media based athlete tracking available. How cool is that?

This does lead me to a rather unsettling question: If I track myself do I get live time updates from the course? I can see it now:

Facebook: Liz has crossed the start line.
Me: Wait? I did? Dude, I totally thought I was still in line for the porta-potty.

But since you aren’t likely to get a race report until Tuesday or (gasp) Wednesday and I know you really want to see that stunning 3 hour + finish.

I imagine the updates will go something like this:

7:00 am: The half marathon has started but Liz is so far back in the chute she hasn’t crossed the start line yet.

7:03 am: Still nothing.

7:05 am: She’s getting closer.

7:06 am: A walker just passed her.

7:08 am: Finally!

7:45 am: Liz made it 2.2 miles in and maybe, just maybe is warmed up enough to actually run like she means it.

8:15 am: You know, Liz, other people are half way done. What exactly are you doing out there?

8:30 am: OMG. You made it to the half way point. It’s about freaking time. Did you get lost? No? Weird.

9:45 am: Ten months ago, Liz would have been here by now but instead you can just sit back and wait.

10:00 am: If you put your ear to the speaker, you can hear the slow shuffle of a fat chick creeping toward the finish line from a mile away.

10:05 am: Closer.

10:10 am: Closer.

10:15 am: Closer.

10:20 am: Holy crap! She’s here!

I know, I know. The tracking is more generic-pretty much just giving you my time as I hit certain points on the course (I believe 2.2, 6.5 and 13.1 miles) but I think this is much more accurate and/or entertaining. Let’s work on that for next year, shall we: sarcastic live time updates?

Actually, if you follow me on Twitter I promise live time updates. No joke. I’ll do it. You might even get a photo or two because you know at that pace they don’t turn out blurry.

I should probably take a moment to note that I do not expect to PR at this event. Not even close actually. My PR is 2:45 which is a 12:35 pace. With the Trifecta four days later, I expect to finish somewhere between 3:05 and 3:15. I could even be slower. Yes, that is a 14:00+ pace.

So if you absolutely need to know how I am doing in real time on Sunday, you should follow this link:

http://halfmoonbayim.org/event/athlete-tracking

And you are going to find yours truly, Liz Carter (no secret there) who happens to be bib 680. Need a little race day sarcasm and humor? Follow me: @RunFatChickRun.

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