I bowl in a league and I suck.

See that purple ball that says “House?” That is mine. I suck so bad I get to use the house ball.

Since I had to give up my dream of being an indoor roller derby super star because of stupid things like intense vertigo and seizures and stuff, I had some free time.  Free time is most certainly not allowed so I quickly filled it with another fun activity that I totally suck at:  bowling.

If bowling with friends on a Friday night is fun, bowling in a league with friends is freaking fantastic.  This is of course because of the killer drink deals for league bowlers.  On Monday’s I make my way to the lanes, slam a few martinis and throw a nine pound ball as hard as I can in the hope of knocking down at least some of the pins while laughing it up with great friends.  It is very good stress relief and just plain fun.

They make the best lemon drops.

I am, however, a god awful bowler.  My handicap is 116.  I am that bad.  But I love it and I am nothing if not consistent (consistently bad is still consistent). Of course, I am holding my own in the women’s handicap series.  It must be because I have magical shoes.  Seriously, they are too cute for words.  And I wasn’t the one who lost the beer frame last night.  I threw a strike when it really mattered:  free beer.

This is the boy getting yet another turkey last night. Gobble gobble.

I am so bad, however, that I am the only bowler in the league without my own ball.  Of course, when I inquired about getting a ball of my own the boy said simply, “Just pick something pretty and cute.”  Well that is just special.  I mean, this is the man who has ceaselessly supported me in countless endeavors but when it comes to bowling, even he knows I am THAT bad.  Thank god it is a handicapped league. Last night was actually a pretty good night.  I bowled a 76, 88 and 62.  But we won two of the games.

Still…do they make a Hello Kitty ball?

Yes, yes they do.