Beautiful Morning My Ass

Here is a story I like to call “How My Husband Volunteered Me to Give a Speech and Forgot to Tell Me About It Until Six Hours Before I Had to Give Said Speech.”  Too complicated?  Probably.  Do I care?  After yesterday, no.

Monday started out so wonderful.  Heck, I was singing old Broadway show tunes in my office over sugar free Red Bull while espousing how absolutely fantastic the day was.  That’s when the Super Mario Brothers one up deedly-dee sounded on my phone.

Don't you have the Super Mario Brothers One Up sound on your phone?

The Boy:  What do you want to bring to the potluck

I am pondering what healthy dish of deliciousness I would like to contribute to our team’s potluck when less than three minutes later:  deeely-dee…

The Boy:  Tonight is supposed to be that presentation.  I completely forgot about it.

Are you kidding me?  It’s not like I’m just lounging around the house here!

Here was my mission:  I would be giving a 5-8 minute speech on the sport of flyball and how it relates to other dog sports to a local training club.  Wait.  No it is a 20 minute presentation and I should feel free to put together some visual aids.  But not Power Point because they don’t have a projector.  Oh, and none of the equipment is available because that is already loaded up in the trailer 90 minutes away in preparation for the tournament this weekend.

This is a dog doing a box turn in flyball. No further explanation required, right? Right.

Sure, Boy.  In the next six hours I will put together 20 minutes of awesomeness including visual aids.  Oh, and I will cancel those dinner party plans.  Who will enjoy my chocolate mousse made from avocados now, Boy?  WHO WILL ENJOY THE MOUSSE?

As an aside...the chocolate avocado mousse is freaking amazing.

He’s lucky I am such a kind and understanding woman, isn’t he?

I love a good challenge, however, and I put together a solid outline, laid out my talking points, found the visual aids from last year’s Home Show where we had an information booth and with T-minus 60 minutes, I was feeling ready, confident even.

When I have time to prepare, THIS is the sort of setup I put together. Well, without the llamas. They weren't ours.

I arrived 15 minutes early and chatted with several members of the audience.  And as I chatted about this and that I had the dawning realization that the club was hoping for something entirely different than what I had prepared for.

Let’s pause for a moment:  Little known fact about yours truly:  I am outgoing, enthusiastic and love to talk.  Shocking, right?  Yeah, I thought so.  And though I am not a big fan of public speaking, I have been told I am relatively good at.  At the very least I am frequently called upon to do it.  I am also flexible, not in the I can gracefully transition from tree to pigeon pose in yoga way but in the adapt to change on the fly way.

With five minutes until show time, I stuffed my meticulously prepared and brightly highlighted notes in my back pocket, gathered a few items from around the facility, made use of the chalk board and ticked off a few mental notes for a completely new outline.  Thus began a 45 minute presentation on how to get started in the sport of flyball, including Q&A and hands on demonstrations using dogs from the audience.

I think it went pretty well.  Everyone seemed to have fun, a few even signed up to come out to a class.  I wasn’t run out of the facility immediately upon opening my mouth and no rotten vegetables were flung at me as I discussed the challenge of box loading.  I even received a few thank you notes.  I rarely get thank you notes at speaking engagements.

So there you have it.  I apparently can magically produce presentations even when someone forgets to tell you have to produce a presentation.  I didn’t know I could do that.  Actually, I probably can’t.  Ask me to present on a dog sport I have not only competed in but trained others to compete in for ten years or even industry market share trending and I am good.  Ask me about underwater basket weaving or the benefits of kale and I would be hiding under a desk in the back office.  Just sayin’.

And as for who will enjoy the chocolate avocado mousse?  That would be ME, thank you very much.

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