I can walk!

Since I can’t run AGAIN today, I have decided to focus on the things I can do.  You know, positive thinking and all that jazz.

Yes, I am a dork but if I can jump over tiny little duraflame log fires, I sure as heck can beat bronchitis, formerly known as the black death.

I can wear corduroys.  Due to a combination of advancements in corduroy technology and developing quads of (mostly) steel, I can now safely roam the halls of my office in virtual silence.  I would like to thank Old Navy for the opportunity to sneak up on unsuspecting victims in the coffee room.  Yeah – I saw you empty the pot and sneak away without starting a new one.

I can sleep through anything on codeine.  I am a light sleeper.  Very light.  I typically wake up once an hour or so because a dog shifted on the couch two rooms away or a car started five blocks west of here.  I have developed a special talent for shaking the crap out of my husband in an effort to take his snoring down a few decibels.  I have always been this way.  The problem is that when I am sick, I wake myself up constantly to sniffle, sneeze, cough and whatever.  Give me codeine, however, I can apparently sleep through three alarms, my cell phone blasting Pitbull or five dogs jumping on my head.  Hey, the idea of the cough syrup with codeine was that I would actually sleep.  Well apparently I am the ONLY one sleeping now because it makes me single, mumble and hum all night long.  Consider this payback for all the nights your snoring/barking/chewing/bed rearranging, husband and dogs.  Wait…that doesn’t sound right.

I can solve the world’s problems with the touch of a button.  If by world you mean, the guy who keeps calling me today because he keeps locking himself out of the system because for whatever reason he can’t type his password correctly, then yeah I can totally do that.  Reset.  Reset. Reset.  I can also leap tall buildings in a single bound (if you count the scale model of the building that was laying in the hallway for some unfathomable reason) and dodge a speeding bullet.  Oh wait, I can’t do that.  At least I don’t think I can.  Might be something for my debut on Myth Busters?

I can drink Sugar Free Red Bull.  After sleeping so hard last night and getting plenty of rest it is only understandable that I would need not one but three Red Bulls to get me going today.  I know:  Bad, Liz, no no.

I can walk.  Considering I count myself a runner it goes without saying that I should be able to walk.  But even walking from the parking lot to my office have winded me since the emergence of the black death.  The weather has been absolutely gorgeous, more like early fall than the first week of January.  So I went for a nice brisk walk and it felt amazing.  I was pretty pleased with the results too:  2.78 miles in 45 minutes.  That is a pretty good clip for someone in ballet flats who has been fighting off the black death.  A little coughing here or there but the tightness in my chest that has been dragging down has significantly improved so much so that I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I am going to try and slip in a little yoga tonight.  It always makes me feel good, even when I am sick plus it will keep all my dormant muscles limber until I make the big attempt to run…tomorrow.  By big attempt I of course mean two or three very slow and very easy miles…with an inhaler.  Oh yeah, that will be special.